Even though infidelity is the main reason behind some divorces, some ladies still stay after their husband cheats. For some, marriage is no more the grace it used to be or thought to be. Generally, many states enforced laws making cheating a reason for divorce.
Now, every country, especially the United States recognizes some form of no-fault divorce. This presumably has minimized the impacts of infidelity on divorce rates. Not bothered about any lawful activity as an outcome of cheating definitely does not help the thought that infidelity is inappropriate for some.
As some therapist with a private practice said, people concentrate on a relationship from premarital counseling to divorce counseling, and some can and will give you a litany of the natural reasons ladies don’t leave their cheating husband. It is necessary to understand that a lot of these reasons come from fear.
Some women are only afraid to be separated from everyone else. Women, in general, are more afraid of being single again than men are. Ladies fear the male to female ratio. Any single, separated or widowed woman knows the situation of many ladies in a bar, Night club, restaurants, event, and so forth to just a few men.
Women fear to get older and stress over their husband searching for a more youthful lady. Women are concerned and most are afraid of the divorce process.
2. Self-Esteem and dating
Being cheated adversely affects a woman’s self-esteem, and makes her insecurities skyrocket. She is left feeling defenseless and reluctant to take off. It is always a scary thought to get once more into the dating game, especially in the case that you never dated anyone else except your husband.
Online dating can end self-confidence for some ladies. Eventually, women are afraid if anyone else will want them.
3. Status “Mrs. versus Ms.”
Women like to say they have a man. It gives them a feeling that all is well with the world and status. It is normal to listen, “I would prefer not to be a divorced woman.” “I would prefer not to lose our wedded partners and social life.”
4. Family Related
Some ladies stay because they would prefer not to separate from their family. They need to spare the marriage for their children’s sake.
5. Financial Matters
Some women stay because they are financially dependent on the husband. They may lose their medical coverage and possible will not see another man to take care of them or probably lose what they have together like their home.
6. Conviction Belief
Some women say they don’t believe in divorce. “Divorce is against our religion.”
7. Shouldn’t we say it is because of L-O-V-E?
Although, the list above shows reasonable excuses for staying with an unfaithful husband, I find that it is “LOVE” that keeps women holding on to their cheaters. Because she finds out that he cheated does not mean that she does not love him anymore or wouldn’t like to live with him, or engage in sexual relations with him, or embrace and kiss him, or be held by him.
Those that are victims of cheaters really need more attention at any time after the act, closeness and connection of affection from their unfaithful husband. Other women simply adore the thought of “being in love.” Love has a different meaning for people, paying little understanding of the definition; love is a competent feeling that takes control over our thoughts.
Here are a few samples from women who stayed with their cheating spouses:
“Why do I want to stay with him? “Because I love him. That SOB. I’ve always loved him. I’ve known him since I was 15 years old. He is the only man I’ve had sex with. He is the father of my children. He is my life, my family. I am not letting anyone else have him. I am not going to let her win.”
“I hope he got it out of his system.” “He needed to do it. I have been his only sexual partner and I know he has been curious.” Some of our friends and family easily say ‘Kick him out. Leave him,’ But until you experience the pain of an affair, you never know how you will react.”
I believe that with a life experience, age, and growth, women understand that they need to make decisions and the fantasy of a perfect life partner is not a reality. It is not all negative. For some marriages, cheating is a reminder that can actually spare the marriage and improve the nature of it. It is all relative.
Sometimes, you can work through the feelings of anger, betrayal, bitterness, sadness, hate, and so on. But being as it may be, it takes work and most likely the support of a couple’s advisor. It will be less easy if there is an establishment of friendship and affection in the marriage.
Forgiveness is useful and necessary for the recovery and restoration of the marriage. As long as that you don’t stay out of fear or low self-esteem, and there are rewards to staying then try and work through it.